Up a creek...

Imagine this scenario, if you will:

A lazy Sunday afternoon in the summer.
On a whim, you rented a canoe and are now drifting down the Chicago river - occasionally dipping your hand in the water as the current pulls you forward.
Slowly, you glide past a sign, posted along the bank:




Sorry - what was that last one?


Suddenly, you're remembering every splash, every drop, every touch of the water and you become acutely aware of a strange webbed feeling growing between your fingers.

Thanks city of Chicago. When my super powers from the radioactive river kick in, I promise to only fight for good.